Hi... I hope you're well I'm singing to you from inside a shell Some songs I made, I wrote and played Hanging around Inkwell There's no "evil coevals" or violent upheaval In a tired, tired nation of acquired indignation I'll never forget when I first heard your words It was back in Summer, July 23rd When I found out my legs would keep getting pulled And I'd keep getting screwed in every conceivable hole And that I couldn't always be there When people come together Everything sucks forever Please seal my tomb I think I need some more time in my cocoon A reason to stop, a way to not It's not good for me I assume We're an anxious generation Born to a tired nation All afraid of new sensations And trapped in the citations We're without a conversation Just dead reverberations All bored of hyperfixations And deprived of all elations I get lost in the voices All making white noises And then I get so anxious I'm afraid to make choices That don't just affect me But those that respect me At least not directly "I just want everything to be okay, all the time. That's it." Coffee at Inkwell, heard you call My thoughts when leaving Bartlett Hall I wrote it on the bathroom stall I know myself, and that is all So I stopped my heart And the next five years were the hardest part Because I was afraid of what I made Made it difficult to restart

If days get numbered Don’t wanna learn how to count Days won’t get wasted Or put in checking accounts Been years since someone Smiled as I walked by Since I drew stick figures Or had a Drake's cherry pie At least our parents got to do it all by themselves I don’t mind working but I can't afford a place to myself I know they didn’t have wheelbarrows sticking out of their pants But they worked 8 hours and they still had energy to dance So screw your business, screw your culture, tell me what the hell it pays My checks get smaller now with every year and every raise Because every minute someone old dies on the job and then Someone turns 18, gets a job, gets old and dies again "It's on you, bud. I wish I could help you on that one, but I can't. You're going to have to come up with a goal, and decide that, 'okay, this goal's important enough to me that I'm going to put in the effort.' If you don't put in the effort and don't get the work done I can't help you. Okay?" "I'm going to have to find one then." "It's up to you dude. Okay? Okay. Look, um..."

I think I'm tired of being chased around by time By changing skies and the clouds as they all fly by I want time to stop, maybe just a little while Wanna forget the clocks, the watches and sundials There’d be no news just the traffic and the weather We could learn to like just being together Things won't get better but at least they will never change And we can still enjoy the things we've already made I want to live in a loop of love and attention To bottle feelings up instead of making connections I’m just so tired of things always getting worse in the end Please turn me off and on so I can restart again I'm just a little metronome You gave me a new home (I found you sitting by yourself, in the thrift store, on a shelf) I'll keep the time for you, my friend You're my motivation (I knew I couldn't just leave you there, in the stale and frigid air) But these days I can't keep the beat (I really care about you) No rhythm on repeat (I hope that you do too) These days, don’t know where my voice is These days I lack any choices You look me every day (I really care about you) But don't throw me away (I hope that you do too) These days are all afternoons These days I wait for the moon I sit silent making no sound (I really care about you) Why am I still around? (I hope that you do too) These days I don’t have the power These days I waste every hour I really care about you (I really care about you) I’m glad that you do too (I hope that you do too) These days These days These days These days Everything just feels the same

I saw you in the warehouse You were jumping up and down Thinking you could reach the ceiling If it weren’t for the ground Because the ground’s what keeps you level You belong here on the floor Yet you wonder why you’re falling I wonder what you’re jumping toward Then we went on a picnic And we played Monopoly But there was some unseen player Buying all the property So if I take what I’ve been buying And you sell what you’ve been giving Well we still couldn’t afford the rent But at least we would be living And I’m sorry I said you belong on the floor You were right when you said that we deserve so much more I am more than a product of my environment Working, always wasting, waiting until retirement I demand to be worth more And I won’t let you make me poor And you can pass that on to whoever's keeping score This isn’t what we wanted or imagined life to be Our collective disappointment's growing immeasurably So cope with all our wanting and we cope through therapy And we cope through entertainment we can get so easily Still we talk amongst ourselves And we wonder who's to blame Why didn’t we see this coming? Do we have to be ashamed? Some people blame their parents But I don’t think they are right Because anyone can be tricked By good times and flashing lights I won’t pay attention to a word you say You’re not worth my focus anyway And screw you if you ask us why We might get scared, but we're not gonna hide We might get old but the youth will never die "And the end of the song sounds roughly like this"

"Man being eaten by an alligator, and he screams..." Thirty people at a party and they all feel down Tom is sitting, nervous eyes are dotting all around He can’t think of anything to say These things just never, ever go his way Besides his mind is all preoccupied Because tonight he doesn’t have a place to stay It’s not your fault, I think it’s the culture The heavy breathing, and people made of ulcers We’re mostly drunk but some of us got too high None of us are having a good time Eric is talking to a guy who's trying to be nice He hears him talking but his words don’t seem to come out right He says "excuse me" and he walks away “How do people do this?” he thinks The guy's just standing in a corner now And Eric says “oh well” and he takes a drink Nobody here knows anybody else here I think that this might just be my worst fear The alcohol is gone this place is bone dry That’s the only reason that I stopped by When we came in we had to take off our shoes There’s music playing but not the kind you dance to Given the option right now I’d like to just die None of us are having a good time You know the tambourine is barely playing in time now Da da da da na na na na na The party’s over and I wish you all would just get out Da da da da na na na na na Maybe we don’t even know how to leave You know it’s killing us to stick around There’s nothing in this world I wanna do But I know I can’t go without making a sound or two Da da da da na na na na na Da da da da na na na na na Da da da da na na na na na Da da da da na na na na na

Starry night outside my bedroom Moonlight slipping through the blinds Somewhere far away you’re slightly stirring, oh Because in our minds we’re awake all the time I love you because that’s how I’m designed Deep inside us both I see a fire It glows like that old moon rolling in space And though when we wake up we’ll still be tired We’re the only real warmth left in this cold place There’s nothing like the warmth inside us Space heaters don’t feel the same Amplified beneath the borrowed blankets, oh The internal flame cannot be explained I love you because you give it a name I saw your parents pushing out their daughter, the Eagle Scout Makes me wonder if their home feels empty now that they’re alone But you’re doing fine now and I’m glad to see it You’ve lived through the past, you don’t want to repeat it But please don’t forget it when you’re on vacation Or we’ll just wind up like the last generation Singing “oh”

It’s in my thoughts late at night, going who knows where Sleeping in a pickup bed on a pillow made of hair Messed it up I don’t care And in the woods by the fire eating ecstasy When I could feel all the feelings feeling around me Where are we? I don’t care And it’s even in my thoughts during the show And it’s even bleeding into the songs I know I expect it So I didn’t care Yeah it’s always that thought bubbling beneath “If I died right here would it even feel bad to leave?” But please don’t grieve Because I don’t care I hope that you relate to what our parents created Where every painted shadow is so weathered and faded And every slippery-tongued, black lunged young son Is failed by the unsung guns of the last one And you’re still jumping up and down in the gold and white Friends in the evening but then strangers in morning light And even though I’ve changed a lot, I’m not alright To this day all I want is something to do at night I’ll even take up smoking if you give me a break I just don’t want my life judged by the firmness of my handshake But you’ll judge me And I won’t care ‘Cause you showed us that your money matters more to you than The lives of the people you call your children You got us sick And we learned not to care When I was 12 I remember laying in the grass Watching funny fireflies flying through my past Looking at the sky at night, in my memory I see somebody’s giant eyes gazing down at me Now I’m 19 and I just want to work all night The moon just ain’t as luminescent as electric lights And every midnight I step back outside on break But I can’t see the night behind the orange wake I can feel the pressure mounting, something’s coming for me Is it the past or the future or something in between? And will it be free? And should I care? It knocked me down on the ground it didn’t make a sound And now it’s on me it’s on me and it’s staying all year round And it’s keeping me down And I don’t care This one’s for everyone who saw something in me That I pushed and pushed until they up and left me This one's for everyone that told me I was crazy I hope that you all finally fucking see That I gave you what you deserved And you deserved to be heard And I've cut off both my ears Because I don't like what I hear And the horn goes I guess that my money matters more to me than The high school friends I’ll never talk to again Because the cash in my wallet knows my favorite song And it sings it to me all night long My best friend’s got a poppy under her bed That grew into a human head And I saw it bite her fingers off And as I ran away I screamed That I care that I care that I care that I care That I care that I care that I care that I care That I care so much That I care too much That I care all the time That I care all the time That I care that I care that I care that I care That I care that I care that I care that I care That I care that I care that I care that I care That I care

Resigned to life, I sleep all day My room is ice, all white and grey I hurt people with words I say With things I do, I’m not okay Ice cold water, black as ink filled up my lungs When I came crashing down from miles up above But they pulled me out and then they nursed me back to health I don’t know why they don’t just let me hurt myself What have I done with wasted air? You used to talk to me, now you just stare If I keep this up, tomorrow won’t be there And pretty soon no one will care I feel so ashamed of this mistake that I have made This mistake I have to live with every day I’ve tried so hard to make the bad things go away I so clearly lie when asked if I’m okay And I watched through window-pane glass eyes As I drove right past school And I watched my arms turn the wheel And take me away from my free ride And I did nothing

I got the first of the checks today Guess it was nice to get my pay, hooray It’s just enough to keep on track And small enough to keep me coming back But work lets me empty out my mind So that’s where I’m spending all this time of mine It’s in the messages I send At home my head just seems to fill back up again With empty crowds and thick white noise And a desire to die with the most toys I see myself and I don't like what I see He's wondering where they've taken me Fucked up in the hospital, Charlie! I want to break everything all around, the blinds are down! I want the cave-in, to shave and bathe, locked out, what’s that about? Ulcer sculpture sees prying eyes love crying eyes to dry, but why? (Are you online? Are you online? Are you online?) I paint the shadows black It’s a place to wait out the attack I’m being shot by both sides So it’s nice to have somewhere to hide When I’m at school I sit there Breathing air and tying knots in my hair And I don’t even know who I’m talking to But all I know is I can't move So please push me away some more I threw a vase scratched up your new floor I only hurt myself instead Like when you said you wished that I was dead Like when I said that I did too ‘Cause I was bored of having things to do And never doing anything I want it to hurt I want it to sting I am in a crowded room Everybody’s filling it up The air is getting thin And hot And sticky And nobody can move And all of a sudden I go dark And my vision gets fuzzy But then it’s back I’m on the floor People move in they stand on me I’m being crushed beneath them I feel a hard rubber shoe leaning against my face And I try to push them away But their weight is just too much Can’t extend my chest to breathe Can’t take the pressure out of their touch I feel a sharp pain I scream but I don’t hear it The pain gets worse Something's moving Something inside me It bends It breaks Something's coming out of it Something warm Something gooey The pain gets worse I start to cry Everyone's always apologizing I see little cracks of light between their bodies They're holding hands Their eyes are closed

The spaces between words sound good Their silence says more than my words ever could About all the days I lost in delays Apathy is a nice place to stay So for some time I coasted along Working odd jobs and writing some new songs The things that I did That I lost, god forbid These feelings cannot be hid And nothing can be undone But at least I can always see There’s worse things that I could have lost Like the people that matter to me The people that I want to be I got lost there for a while Their machines rearranged my mouth into a smile The faces you make They cannot be faked But I tried to for old times’ sake At least I know I’m not alone You’ve all got your problems you won’t say on the phone I’ll save up my faith and I’ll buy you a place Where you’re safe, safe, safe And no I don’t lose sleep at night Thinking there’s nothing I can do There’s nothing I can’t get through Yeah it’s alright 'cause I love you I don’t have to come back to life ‘til I want to

Last night I had a dream I’m not sure what it means But I saw someone else Who took care of himself He made everyone his friend Even if it was pretend He said “you’re all worthwhile to me” And I said “I agree” And then we sang Then I felt something in my pocket And I was careful not to drop it I don’t remember what it was But I don’t care because I heard a voice that said that love is an asterisk that grows on your name (Am I still dreaming?) That love is an island with sand filled with flames Where the trees grow the gold and white honey crisp (Am I still dreaming?) Of the oceans we miss with our sailing ships That love is a quiet kid who’s not what he seems (Am I still dreaming?) That love’s a night’s sleep for a beautiful dream A dream so lucid you won’t know when you wake (Am I still dreaming?) Where you’ll forgive yourself for every mistake This morning I woke up and bathed And then I brushed my teeth and shaved And then I spent some time watching cartoons And then I listened to Meshes of the Afternoon Well I listened once and then I listened twice to be sure The lyrics didn’t make sense anymore What would I want to stop time for? When my feet have just reached the sandy shore?

Dad you left me crying, split me in two And in the gap between me there’s no room for you And that’s fine You don’t care My family isn’t close, we’ve never been I’ve never trusted anyone except my friends And that’s fine I don’t mind In time alone I built a telescope, gold and white The stars were blurry but at least I could see the night The black sky Don’t ask why And through my telescope I saw two eyes A nose and a mouth that just said “hi” I said “hi” back Then something lifted me, carried me to the light To somewhere blazingly warm and blindingly bright And now I know exactly what I wanna do I’m wanna do better I’m gonna do better than you And if I love the world The world will in return I don’t love everyone but someday I’ll learn And I’ll warm up the world so much it’ll burn ...bye