1. |
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I filled the cauldron up with candy
The kids keep coming so I better keep it handy for now
Just for now
You get the popcorn and I'll light a fire
Put on Halloween 3, I hear Michael Myers isn't it
Which is weird, but it's supposed to be pretty good
I'm too old for Trick or Treating now
But I still like it when the leaves tumble to the ground
And I don't mind answering the door all night
'Cause as long as you're with me everything will be alright
Everything is fine
My Trick or Treating days are done
I buy my own candy and it's way less fun for me
But what I miss most is mischief night
'Cause an adult teepeeing a house, it don't look right
It's not okay like it is when you're a kid
But there are perks to growing up a bit
Like driving and parties and finding out where you fit
I've got a good thing going so I'm gonna enjoy it now
With a cup of hot cider and a good spot on the couch
And a friend next to me
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2. |
Everything Sucks Forever
01:29
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3. |
The Butcher
03:39
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They're coming to get you, Barbara!
(crowd panic)
Greetings! Woke up this morning CHAINED TO THE BATHROOM FLOOR. No idea how I got here or whose bathroom it was. I had to drink from the toilet to survive. It was dark so I didn't notice the woman chained to the other side of the bathroom. I said "Howdy!" she said "Hi." She said "How ya doin?" I said "I'm hangin in there" she said "Cool." And then all of a sudden WHAM! Bathroom door swings open (it's the Butcher), he says "I'm gonna fucking kill you...I'm gonna cut your limbs up...I'm gonna fucking...eat your eyeballs."
I said LET ME GO!
He said NO NO NO!
And then I screamed and shouted!
I don't know what it's about!
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
With the clothesline
And the turpentine
And the fountain pen
He's my very best friend
The Butcher left the room for a smoke so we started looking around for a key (we were kinda hoping this was like Saw) but nah, I don't think he wanted us to leave. So we started trying to chew through the chains but they were made of metal so that didn't really work. So it just kinda hurt. Uh, so we started playing 20 questions. The answer to mine was a kite but she didn't get it, so that was kinda lame. Um, and then he never really came back for us for a while. So that was pretty boring, we just sorta sat in silence, and we drank toilet water, and it was gross.
HE'S CRAZY! He goes like -
(squirrel noises)
I said LET ME GO!
And he said NO NO NO!
And then he cut off my legs!
And then he cut off my arms!
He started playing with my body!
But I was already dead!
He used my mouth like a puppet!
And he was never wrong
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Squirrel Lacey Township, New Jersey
pine barrens pop star
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